Quite some time ago I bought myself a long, slinky, lace-trimmed black nightgown (Odd. When I first typed this, it was mightgown, though I certainly didn’t feel mighty like Wonder Woman wearing it.).

When my kids saw me in it, they laughed, rather dampening my enthusiasm. They didn’t think it was appropriate for their mom to look, well, kind of like a hooker. They were used to seeing me in pajama bottoms and T-shirts. Not sexy, but snooze-worthy.

Years ago, I had cute underwear. Now I’ve got Bridgette Jones’s granny panties. Industrial strength underwire bras. Sensible cotton nightgowns that can double as dustrags.

And I used to have cute shoes, too. Lime green. Hot pink. Leopard print (maybe those weren’t so cute.). For a girl who treasured the Bloomingdales catalog like a Bible, I’ve fallen from chic to meek.

I love reading the hero’s journey as he strips the heroine of her petticoats, stays, shift, and stockings. There’s something amazingly liberating after each string gets loosened from the corset. But most naughty artwork of the eighteenth and nineteenth centuries shows people with their clothes on as they “get it on.” There was just too much of it to get off. Oh, you know what I mean.

Underpants as we know them are a relatively modern invention. In 1757 a German doctor said a woman shouldn’t wear pants or closed underwear because her nether region needed air to allow moisture to evaporate so it wouldn’t decay (!!!). But it was okay to wear them in cold weather(and to protect against insects!!!).

There’s nothing worse than a middle-aged woman looking like a Barbie Doll, but I’m in the mood for a pick-me-up. What’s your secret weapon when you want to feel frisky or fashionable? How many thongs are in your drawer? You can post anonymously now, so we won’t be shocked.

A lady is one who never shows her underwear unintentionally. — Lillian Day