My oldest, very pregnant daughter recently showed me an ultrasound snapshot of her own daughter’s vagina. The absolute wonders of science. Of course, she said, “Look at her hoo hoo,” my husband’s childhood word for female anatomy. In my family, it was called a “quincy,” which certainly gave me pause when I was forced to learn the presidents in chronological order and I got to John Quincy Adams. My Viennese mother called my backside a “po-po.” I have no idea if that’s traditional in Austria or not, but it’s sweeter than ass or butt or badonkadonk. When I raised my own children, I tried to be clinical and scientific…except, apparently, for hoo hoo, which I believe the Smart Bitches refer to as the Magic Hoo Hoo.

There are lists devoted to euphemisms regarding male and female private parts and the myriad activities associated with them. Check out for some eye-opening research. And there’s continued controversy as to what words offend in literature. Ultimately it’s a matter of your crudity comfort zone. I have no objection to cock, but I’m not sure about the “c” word that’s sometimes applied to females.

What words turn you on and off? Any childhood nicknames you’d care to share? What words make you laugh out loud or throw the book across the room? You can post anonymously and be as sexplicit and silly as you want!

In the words of Trace Atkins: That’s it, right there boys, that’s why we do what we do—It ain’t for the money, it ain’t for the glory, it ain’t for the free whiskey—It’s for the badonkadonk.

Chapter Two of Third-Rate Romance is now posted! Don’t forget Romance Novel TV’s month of writing tips!