You have a naked man in your bed. Handsome. Tall. Dark-haired if we go by tradition. This is not a bad thing. But at some point, he’s got to get up and get out to fetch you jewels and cheeseburgers. Maybe a diet soda. It’s cold outside. After all, it is December. What is this dream guy wearing? Is he a braw Scot, flicking his kilt naughtily to tempt you with his own version of the Highland Games? See how big his sporran is. Or is he a dashing pirate, miraculously clean, all his limbs intact and parrot-less, ready to set sail for a tropical isle with you as his first mate? Pick your preferred hero and give him a name. We’ll take an informal poll. Claymore vs. cutlass. Let the best man win.

The finest clothing made is a person’s skin, but, of course, society demands something more than this. ~Mark Twain