Years ago my husband and I argued over snoring. I was willing to admit that I did make a snort or two during the night, but he claimed he was as silent as a lamb. We had a voice-activated tape recorder that I looped over the brass headboard , and at about 2:15A.M. I was whispering, “The snoring in the background is my husband John. Nyah nyah nyah nyah na na. Told you so.”

Snoring is real life. Scratching unmentionable areas is too real life. I don’t expect to find such normal occurrences in romance novels, because they’re pretty much lust killers. I always laugh at the first-thing-in-the-morning love scenes, where no one visits the chamber pot beforehand. My priorities are a little different when I wake up.

What facet of real life do you NEVER expect to read about in a romance novel? Make me laugh. Please post as many jarring scenarios as you like here (the more the merrier—and increase your odds) by 6 P.M. EST Sunday, March 25. Don’t worry if someone else has your idea. Great minds do think alike. I will use the very scientific method of picking a folded scrap of paper from a hat, and the winning entrant will get a brand-spankin’-new copy of Jayne Ann Krentz’s All Night Long (no snoring whatsoever), other romance novel goodies and surprises. The Too True to Life winner will be posted on the usual Monday blog on March 26.